They Promoted Someone Else

You put the work in, your interview was on point, your experience has more than spoke for itself in your accomplishments, but you were passed over and someone else was promoted. If it stings, that is normal, if you are angry, that is normal, you want to throw in the towel, don't. 

Hard cold truth, at some point someone will be given a promotion over you. Even if you have all of the qualifications you could be passed over. This has no reflection your work ethic, but they way you respond will shape your character. 

You may sit at your desk wondering if the hard work you've put in is worth it. You may think you  should look somewhere else because you don't feel valued. You probably have more questions than answers, and while that is normal, how you react is the most important. 

Here are somethings that you should do immediately:

1. Call a friend, don't talk to anyone at your workplace.

This is vitally important for the first week after the promotion announcement was made. Call a friend who doesn't work or have any ties to your workplace. Talk to them about your concerns and your frustrations. Cry, a lot if you want too when you talk to them. The last thing you want to do is create a scene, vent to the wrong person, or act unprofessionally. You don't know if there is a bigger plan in place for you, and if you react harshly, you may jeopardize that.

2. Don't be impulsive. 

After a gut blow, the first thing you want to do is walk into your bosses office and toss a resignation letter on the desk and give them the middle finger. Pause, create the scene in your mind only, breath, and then take the emotion out. Imagine if you are watching someone act unprofessionally in your office. You'd feel uncomfortable, or wish they would take a chill pill. Being impulsive happened before you were smarter and more confident in your work. Hold onto your character, and walk with your head held high while you decide what is right for you. 

3. Take a three day weekend.

Cash in a day of vacation and enjoy a three day weekend. This will give you time to cool off outside of the office setting. No matter what you do, do not post on social media how frustrated you are with your work situation. Live in the moment, have brunch, let the sun rays hit your skin, and feel being an everyday out of the office woman.

Here are somethings that you should do two-four weeks after:

1. Clarify the true reason why.

You can't solve what you don't know. There may be underlying reasons you won't understand until you talk to human resources or your boss directly. When you talk to them, keep your conversation short and to the point. A simple "I understand that I wasn't promoted for a position I felt qualified and ready for. Will you please help me assess why I wasn't chosen so I can tailor my work in the future to assist me in securing a promotion?" Then stop talking, and listen. Allow for your boss or human resource department to talk. If you ask to follow up questions, keep the emotion out of it. Follow up like a reporter trying to find facts would.

2. Assess your personal goals and feelings.

Women more than anyone know when they are being fed a line of bull shit. So if you feel after your conversation that this is happening and your future with your current company isn't going to fulfill your career goals. It is time to assess your personal goals and put a plan in place to achieve what you need for your career path. 

Being passed over for a promotion can sting, but do not allow it to derail your character or career goals. Every situation you are in is a learning experience. Keep your head held high, and always be the bigger person.

Have you been passed over for a promotion? How did you deal? Sound off in the comments or email us at